Funerals, Memorials & Celebrations of Life

Losing someone close to you (whether a person or pet) is emotionally heartrending and existentially destabilizing, and I’m sick of living in a death-denying, grief-avoidant culture. I’m tired of hearing people brag about how they didn’t cry during a big, important life milestone, as if they deserve a badge of honor for keeping a stiff upper lip in the face of overwhelming emotion. I have experienced immense beauty, solace and generosity of spirit while mourning loved ones in community, and I have marveled at our cultural ineptitude around grief and death. I long to bring beauty and light to the places they are needed most, and I want to make sure that everyone faced with loss - regardless of belief - has a somewhere they can go to to help them mourn and heal. All of this and more has brought me to the work of honoring, celebrating and memorializing the end of life, with all its beauty, raw emotion, humanity and complexity.

“Grief is a thick emotion. It so easily gets stuck. And things can so easily stick to it. But if handled properly, grief is powerful and it is essential. It is like the end of the loop of our human experience that brings us back to our embeddedness… if we tend to it. And for me, tending to it requires that I drop into ceremony.” -The Verdant Collective

What a good funeral, memorial or celebration of life can do

A personally meaningful and expertly facilitated funeral, memorial, or end of life ceremony is the foundation upon which true grieving and healing happens. A good end of life ceremony honors and celebrates the deceased’s life, but it also provides an important container for their family and community to express their grief, and digest and metabolize their loss. It might seem counterintuitive, but we need to grieve our losses so that we can recover our sense of well-being and connection to life. There’s no need to be afraid. In The Moth Podcast, House of Mourning, chaplain Kate Braestrup reminds us to “walk fearlessly into the house of mourning, for grief is just love squaring up to its oldest enemy, and after all these mortal, human years, love is up to the challenge.” Whether you’re mourning the end of a life cut tragically short, or celebrating the fullness of a long life well lived, funerals and memorials need to feel immediate and relevant, and bring the rich tapestry of emotions alive and into the room. 

“We don’t mark death very well in the West. We so often wrestle the most wretched events into neat formulaic moments: a homily, a hymn, a tearful speech, sometimes not even that. A funeral can be a magnificent occasion, properly done.” -Julia Baird

Secular approach to ceremony

While I am happy to support people of faith, I primarily serve those who consider themselves secular, spiritual-but-not-religious, or whose beliefs don't fit neatly into a single religious tradition. Over many years, I have curated with a rich body of poetry, literature, music and world wisdom that informs my end-of-life work. I draw from a rich wellspring of language and symbolism when creating ceremonies for people who want a ceremony that is deeply meaningful without defaulting to religious rituals that don't reflect their beliefs.

Work with me

I am a Certified Life Cycle Celebrant with specialized training in funerals, memorials and celebrations of life. I am not affiliated with a religious institution or congregation. I’m an independent officiant and celebrant (sometimes described as concierge clergy) who creates entirely custom ceremonies to honor your loved one’s life and legacy. I build each ceremony from the ground up and craft it with mastery, artistry, and care. It is a process that requires immense spiritual, emotional, and practical labor. It is done in service to something real, and requires deep presence, discernment, and attunement. What you receive is not just my time. It is my skill, my ability to listen, to carry what you may not be able to in the moment, and to translate your memory and love into a cohesive ceremony. To do this well, I clear my calendar and devote myself entirely to listening, gathering stories and writing. I don’t shy away from the tough stuff including traumatic or violent death, such as suicides, accidents, and overdoses, infant or pre-term death, and pet loss. If you are looking for someone who will hold an honest and deeply compassionate space and help you mourn and honor your loved one in a way that feels true to you, please contact me. 

Kind words

“You made it the most beautiful day I wish I never had to have. You were very healing for many who attended. Many people have reached out to me to tell me how truly special the day was, and how wonderful you were.” A.M., Santa Cruz, CA

“Your beautiful ceremony for our son was amazing! It is obvious to me that you have a gift and that you have worked hard to perfect it. Weeks later we are still talking about how powerful and healing your ceremony was.” C.R., Santa Cruz, CA

“You are masterful in your honest and compassionate space holding. I feel deeply impressed by your genius in this area.” B.S., Santa Cruz, CA

“Naomi did an amazing job helping my family to create a beautiful memorial service for my father. She has boundless empathy, and delivered a service that was heartwarming, honest, touching and truly honored the person that he was. Highly recommended.” J.M., Santa Cruz, CA

“I am incredibly thankful that Naomi was with me during my process of grieving and releasing. After my partner passed away, I wasn’t sure who to turn to, as I don’t belong to a religious congregation. Naomi was able to offer a compassionate, authentic approach to memorializing him. She helped me navigate the whole process, and put together a beautiful ceremony to help me say goodbye to my dear one.” L.L., Santa Cruz, CA

“It was the perfect ceremony. Just what I wanted. You were so wonderful. So many people asked if you were an old family friend, you seemed to know him so well. Thank you for listening to and learning from us and creating a ceremony we will always remember and be grateful for.” M.T., Felton, CA

Service area

I officiate personalized funerals, memorials, and celebration of life ceremonies throughout Santa Cruz County and Monterey County, including Santa Cruz, Capitola, Aptos, Scotts Valley, Watsonville, Ben Lomond, Felton, Bonny Doon, Monterey, Pacific Grove, Carmel Valley, Marina and Big Sur.