Spiritual companionship for secular people
(and for anyone whose spiritual life doesn’t fit neatly within a traditional religious framework)

Perhaps it goes without saying that you don’t need to believe in a deity, subscribe to a doctrine, or identify with a spiritual tradition to grapple with perennial questions of meaning, morality and mortality; or that being non-religious doesn’t erase the human need for reckoning, reflection or a relationship with something larger than the isolated self. But it does often mean that the authorities and institutions that once held space for the metaphysical, cosmological, ontological and existential questions and dimensions of life no longer apply or suffice, leaving many of us to navigate them alone.

“We all need a sacred witness in life, a person who can listen without judgment while knowing the right questions to ask that continually illuminate our path.” –Caroline Myss

For those of you who want to explore these dimensions of life with someone who will not impose a belief system on you or claim to have cornered the market on ultimate truth, keep reading.

The existential terrain we all share

Spiritual companionship is a space to articulate, clarify, process and digest questions, experiences and states of being that are too large, complex, mysterious or consequential to be contained within the ordinary register and demands of everyday life—territory that defies easy answers and asks more of you than efficiency, utility and forward motion. But at its heart, this is a dedicated space for you to nurture and tend your inner life. While this list is by no means exhaustive, some themes and topics may include:

◇ Purpose and agency: vision, life purpose, calling, destiny, free will, sovereignty
◇ Finitude and introspection: contemplation, reflection, self-examination, mortality, legacy, life review
◇ Moral life: values, morals, ethics, integrity, accountability, alignment
◇ Transformation and liminality: transitions, thresholds, rites-of-passage, initiations, crossroads, dark nights of the soul, existential crises, uncertainty
◇ Contribution and right relationship: generosity, service, stewardship, reciprocity, kinship, interdependence 
◇ Ways of seeing and knowing: intuition, discernment, revelation, insight, precognition, perspective, extra-sensory perception, psychedelics, dreams
◇ Reckoning and repair: crisis of conscience, acknowledgment of harm done, regret, remorse, forgiveness, atonement, reconciliation
◇ Transcendence and numinosity: reverence, awe, wonder, connection, communion, the infinite, the sacred, the ineffable, the soul
◇ The human condition: paradox, good and evil, injustice, why bad things happen to good people

“In one drop of water are found the secrets of all the endless oceans; in one aspect of you are found all the aspects of existence.” -Khalil Gibran

Training and experience

My two-year ministerial training with the Center for Sacred Studies prepared me to support people with spiritual growth and life transitions through deep listening, reflection, ceremony and ethical discernment. Beyond that, my one-on-one work is informed by years of experience accompanying people through deeply personal territory, as well as extensive studies in cross-cultural and earth-based spirituality, Indigenous wisdom, multimodal healing, ritual theory and threshold work. It is also deeply informed by mytho-poetry, botany, biomimicry and astronomy.

My capacity for this work has been forged through lived experience as much as it has been through formal training. On multiple occasions in my own life, everything I thought I knew about the world crumbled: a way of life, a belief system, an ideological framework. As a result, I’ve experienced periods of disillusionment, disorientation, despair and dark nights of the soul. During several such periods, I had no guide to walk beside me, and I came to understand the value of spiritual companionship through its absence. Later, I was grateful to find wise elders, mentors and spiritual companions whom I rely on to this day—trusted guides who have never asked me to adopt a particular way of believing or perceiving, never rushed me toward resolution during periods of dormancy or uncertainty, or offered me easy answers or premature consolation.

Orientation and approach

My approach is grounded enough to remain rooted in the realities and responsibilities of ordinary life, intuitive enough to listen beyond the immediately obvious, and humble enough to honor the mystery of existence and the diversity of human experience and expression.

I am not here to offer you a cosmology, translate your experience through the lens of a belief system, impose my own meaning on your experience, or claim special access to truth. I am here to be a sacred witness, listen deeply, ask thoughtful questions, and help you access the deeper currents of your own life and experience through reflection, inquiry and discernment.

I chose the word companionship intentionally. A companion does not stand at the destination calling out directions as if they have everything figured out; they accompany you, helping you pay attention to your path and notice patterns that may be difficult to see from inside your own experience. The relationship is about walking alongside you with realness, humility and an understanding that none of us stands above the existential terrain of being human.

“Meaning must be found; it cannot be given.” -Viktor Frankl

What this is not

This is not mental health care. I am not a social worker, psychologist, therapist or psychiatrist, and this work is not psychotherapy, mental-health counseling or a substitute for professional mental-health care. I do not diagnose or treat mental illness, psychological conditions or trauma, and this work is not intended for people seeking support with acute psychological symptoms or a mental-health crisis.

Spiritual companionship is not based on a psychological approach. Traditional western psychology is very focused on the self: my trauma, my patterns, my issues. This can be a valuable orientation for healing and personal growth, but when every struggle is understood primarily through the individual self, we risk stripping it of its social, ecological, existential, ontological and cosmological context, and reifying the self-preoccupation that permeates so much of modern life. We also risk both diminishing and pathologizing the larger, universal questions and conundrums of being human by reducing them to matters of individual psychology.

What happens in a session

There is no prescribed format for our time together. We might talk or sit together quietly, reflect on something you’re trying to make sense of or make peace with, bring attention to something at the edge of your consciousness that you haven’t quite been able to name, or pray together if you are so inclined. Sessions are organic and take shape in response to whatever arises. While this work is serious, it need not be sombre. There is ample space for humor, levity and lightness.

Logistics

Format: 1:1 sessions via Zoom or Google Meet
Length: 75 minutes
Investment: $150 per session (payable via Zelle and Apple Pay)

Individual sessions are available, but this work tends to deepen over time as trust and familiarity develop. When possible, I recommend committing to four sessions to start.

If you feel like this kind of work would be supportive to you now, please reach out.