Deaf Couples and Sign Language Wedding Ceremonies
Signs of Love
As a non-religious wedding officiant devoted to creating inclusive, deeply personal ceremonies, I get to work with couples from all walks of life. One of the most meaningful intersections in my career has been officiating ceremonies for Deaf couples and collaborating with American Sign Language (ASL) interpreters during wedding ceremonies. This post shares my personal connection to the Deaf community, highlights some important and lesser known aspects of Deaf culture, and reflects on the joy of creating accessible ceremonies that honor the full spectrum of human communication.
Why I Love Working with Deaf Couples
I love working with deaf couples and collaborating with interpreters on sign language wedding ceremonies. I used to be an ASL interpreter in NY, before a wrist injury changed the direction of my life. Back then, I always wanted to interpret wedding ceremonies and other important milestones. Sadly, that never got to happen. Recently however I had the opportunity to officiate several wedding ceremonies for deaf couples (as well as for a bride whose parents are deaf,) and collaborate with ASL interpreters. There is a lot of ignorance about Deaf culture and sign language in the mainstream, but it is a fun, fascinating and functional langue, and one I adore!
A Few Things Hearing People Might Not Know About Deaf Culture
There is not a single universal sign language. There are actually 300+ sign languages worldwide. There are also sign language “accents.” New Yorkers tend to sign really fast, Californians, significantly slower and more “chill,” and southerners sign with a distinct visual twang. American sign language is closer to French sign language than it is to British sign language, even though American English and Queen’s English are much more similar than French and American English. Many deaf people feel very proud to be deaf and don’t view their deafness as a handicap or disability. It’s hearing people who look down on and “other” deaf people and sign language as “less than.” Think about how ingenious and resourceful you’d have to be as a deaf person to navigate a predominantly hearing world!
Working with Interpreters at Weddings
White-skinned interpreters generally wear all black to their interpreting gigs because white hands show up clearer and more sharply on an all black background. Long, colorful nails on an interpreter cause “visual noise.” I used to work at a bar in Queens, NY and once asked the bar owner if we could have a “deaf night.” He obliged. He kept the lights in the bar really low, presumably for ambiance. I had to explain to him that low light meant having to work that much harder to communicate - the equivalent of shouting over loud music in a bar when you’re a hearing person.
Where My Worlds Beautifully Collide
I definitely miss aspects of being an ASL interpreter, but also feel really happy and fulfilled to be doing what I’m doing now. I’m very grateful that slowly but surely these two worlds have found a way to merge, and I can now officiate wedding ceremonies for deaf couples with the assistance of amazing sign language interpreters.
🎵 ✋ Want to learn more?
Check out Christine Sun Kim’s TED Talk for a deeper dive into the beauty and nuance of sign language.