More Than a Prelude: Why Your Ceremony Deserves Center Stage
More Than a Prelude: Why Your Ceremony Deserves Center Stage
Let’s be honest: a lot of wedding ceremonies are tedious, boring and unmemorable.
We’ve all sat through them—those generic, cookie-cutter scripts that feel more like a perfunctory legal transaction than a true celebration of love. The kind of ceremonies that make people glance at their watches, praying for cocktail hour to begin. It's no wonder so many engaged couples treat the ceremony as a necessary evil, a box to check, something to “get through” before the real party starts.
But I’ve been at this for a while and here’s what I know to be true: your wedding ceremony has the power to be the highlight of the entire day. Not just because it’s the moment you exchange vows, but because it sets the tone for everything that follows it.
That’s why I’ve spent years advocating for a ceremony renaissance—a renewal, a rebrand, a revolution, really—of how couples (and vendors!) think about and experience wedding ceremonies in modern culture. And yes, I know that’s a big claim. But I believe in it wholeheartedly.
Because I’ve seen what happens when a ceremony is given the care and attention it deserves. I’ve seen guests laugh and cry and tap into something timeless and real. I’ve watched couples exhale into the moment and actually be present with one another. I’ve witnessed ceremonies become not just meaningful, but transformative—for everyone in attendance.
And I know this is possible for every couple, even (and especially) the most non-traditional ones.
The Ceremony as the Heart of the Wedding
There’s a prevailing narrative in the wedding industry that tells couples to prioritize the visual and logistical elements: the dress, the venue, the photographer, the DJ. All important, yes. But the ceremony? That often gets pushed to the end of the to-do list, if it makes the list at all.
And I get it. The wedding industry is massive, and couples are often navigating a mountain of decisions with the guidance of wedding websites, influencers, and Pinterest boards. Most of those sources barely mention the ceremony—let alone encourage couples to prioritize it. So it’s not surprising when couples default to something short, scripted, generic and forgettable.
But consider this: the ceremony is the only time during the entire wedding day when all your people are gathered together, seated, quiet, paying attention, and fully present with you. It’s the most intentional moment of the whole celebration. And that kind of focused energy is rare—especially in today’s distracted, always-scrolling world.
One non-religious bride told me that she has “felt a buzzing in my body when people have prayed for me in the past but I can’t say for certain it isn’t just the power of focused energy and attention.” I believe it IS the power of focused energy and attention, and so do poets and philosophers like Mary Oliver and Thich Nhat Hanh. As Simone Weil said, “Attention is the rarest and purest form of generosity.”
That’s why we believe your ceremony should be more than just an obligatory preamble. It should be an experience. Something artful. Emotional. Honest. Communal. A space where you, your partner, and your people get to slow down, catch your breath, and connect with the deeper meaning of the moment.
An Invitation to Pause
In a culture that’s always plugged in but generally tuned out, ceremony invites us to pause.
To feel.
To notice.
To be witnessed.
To pay attention.
This doesn’t have to be a religious or spiritual act (though it certainly can be.) It can simply be a human one. Ceremonies are a universal human impulse after all. Regardless of culture, country or belief, all people everywhere use ceremonies to honor and affirm big moments of transition and change. A good ceremony helps us mark time. It lets us honor what came before and acknowledge what’s beginning now. It gives us a container for something that feels too big to name. It offers a shared experience that transcends belief systems or family backgrounds or political affiliations.
In a time of deep division, ceremony can be a radical act of unity.
This is especially true for couples who identify as non-religious, secular, spiritual-but-not-religious, or atheist. I hear this from these couples all the time: “We want something meaningful, but not cheesy. Something grounded. Something modern. Something real.”
And I say: yes. You can have that.
In fact, some of the most moving ceremonies I’ve officiated have been for the most non-traditional couples. Because when you’re not beholden to a specific religious script or formula, you have the freedom to experience something that feels true to you.
The Art of Ceremony
I see ceremony as an art form.
And like any good piece of art, it’s about the details: the pacing, the tone, the language, the energy. A ceremony script isn’t just a string of paragraphs. The right words matter. They don’t have to be lofty or flowery or dripping in poetic metaphors. But they do have to be true. They have to reflect the couple, the moment, and the values at the heart of it all. When they do, people feel it.
A well-crafted ceremony script welcomes everyone in. It doesn’t alienate or preach. It makes space for all the feelings, and for remembering that, at its core, a wedding isn’t just about pretty photos or a killer playlist—it’s about two people choosing each other, in front of their community, with intention and care.
That’s powerful.
That’s worth paying attention to.
Why the Ceremony Deserves Better
I’ve spent years disrupting the ceremony status quo. Not because I like being contrarian (okay, maybe a little,) but because I’ve seen what’s possible when couples let go of the tired templates and stale clichés and choose to do something different, something real.
I believe in the power of storytelling. I believe in the sanctity of ceremony. I believe that a well-timed pause can say more than a thousand words. And I believe that even the most laid-back, no-fuss, “we just want to keep it simple” couples deserve a ceremony that feels intentional delivered and artfully made.
A New Model of Ceremony
One of the reasons ceremony has become an afterthought in so many weddings is because we’ve had terrible models for what a good ceremony can sound like. Too often we’ve seen ceremonies that are either overly rigid and religious, or awkwardly vague, impersonal and cliche.
But in many cultures around the world, ceremony is revered as the lifeblood of the community. A vital, life-affirming tradition that strengthens connection and reflects shared values. I’d love to see more of that reverence infused into modern weddings—not in a high-falutin’ or holier-than-thou way, and not in a preachy or performative way, but in a way that feels grounded and authentic.
A ceremony can be modern without being shallow.
It can be inclusive without being generic.
It can be playful without being gimmicky.
It can be sacred without being religious.
It can be poetic without being pretentious.
It can be short and still substantive. Non-traditional and still deeply meaningful.
And above all, it can be yours.
Final Thoughts: A Call to Reimagine
So yes—I am calling for a ceremony renaissance. A rebrand. A revolution.
Because I know what’s possible.
I’ve seen what happens when couples trust that the ceremony doesn’t have to be the boring, “get over it quick” part of the day. That it can be the beating heart of the day—the part everyone remembers. The part that sets the tone for an incredible celebration of love, family, friendship, and future.
I want to help shift the culture so that ceremonies are no longer an afterthought. So that couples feel empowered to make the ceremony meaningful. So that guests feel inspired and connected. So that everyone leaves feeling just a little more alive. As Alice Waters said, “This is the power of gathering: it inspires us, delightfully, to be more hopeful, more joyful, more thoughtful—in a word, more alive.”
A wedding is a celebration, yes.
But it’s also a threshold.
A ceremony—well-written, well-held, well-experienced—marks that threshold with beauty, power and love.
So make it count!